Notes from the Periphery
(2020-2021)
3.
The limits of
“to its logical conclusion”
I’ve been told I’m an illogical
emotion locomotive
all knots and steam
thin flesh and skeletal hands
A runaway machine
Or maybe you’ll find me
stalling
in the glove compartment
folded up in darkness
impounded by circumstance
2.
Tethered to an aching
an alarm
accelerating
Strangely, I feel so
unbound
Recite my discontent
like keys to prove I live here
locks on a precipice
1.
Phrases gather like dust
and missed calls
asking me to sort it all out
Notions that linger
summon the margins
where I grew up
5.
Some desires are clumsy
a heat haze when I look at him
He asks without hesitation
if I want to quell my restlessness
in the shade of his shadow
Devotion is jarring to me
I let him circle the outer rings of my irises
dizzy
with false intimacy
But this man has no talent
for capturing my eye
He sinks instead
in the desert of his own conceit
4.
I am my own
but also known
as a region of extraction
I am my own
but also known
as a region of extolment
One ring does not make a tree trunk
still I will insist
Hemispheres to disarm
so I stretch like branches
6.
Oh, but I’ve had romance!
briefly saw myself
poised in panorama
I try not to look back at skylines
with heartbreak and longing
I'm allowed to keep vista points
like preserves in a jar
kept to savor again
moments of belonging
spread out like an ellipsis
7.
I may appear small
or not there at all
Looming large in my own mind
not exceptional, but relevant
I pitch a tent where I am
call it Presence
9.
Hyphenation
is a bridge
is a fulcrum
is a pendulum
to cross
to pivot
to swing
But I’m uneasy
not affirmative
in these metaphors
This identity
isn’t either/or
isn’t two opposed
It’s a collection of spheres
from themes revisited
from time traveling through
landscapes, languages,
and memory
I’m mine to define
fine-tuning towards
a harmony of ripples
8.
I’ve reached an age
when I feel I could be
every age passed
and every age up ahead
Lose count of the orbits around the sun
Twirling in the glow
and fading shadow
of a Summer twilight
Bad at memorization
never said I was an actor
never said I was a singer
You never saw me as anything
a figment of your imagination
10.
Not all loose threads need mending
tattered seams to abandon
for new forms and patterns
made by those who don't get sentimental
watching a flag billow
12.
This chorus
floats
like dandelion seeds
roams
like tumbleweeds
We break idioms like bread
and blend accents like tea
singing across dialects
stretching beyond the sea
We retain and relinquish
grow and perish
Reach the core
compounded
With disdain
asked if we plan to stay
blamed for an estate in decay
as we wonder
if a plot of specters
is worth our investment
11.
Trust there’s more
than a storyline bazaar
Where we dare to trespass
are fences to take down
Where we refuse to tread
are sacred spaces to defend
Some stories aren’t worth
their exchange rate
13.
When declining is an invitation
springboard to an alternative world
Some can’t be
compartmentalized
Refuse to get caught
in the fold
a middle that won’t hold
15.
I strike a match
and blow it out
A fan of smoke
aftermath of flame
In the periphery
floating black soot
my eyes following
its composition
It’s amazing how one thing
quickly turns in to another
some choreographed
some improvised
If I get another chance
I wish to be reborn as a cloud
a shifting gull that dreamers love
14.
Center of the frame
is gaudy
fraught with
the lonely
flash mistook for focus
When ready
find the edges
reorienting
emanating certainty